Ogden Nash Quotes - BrainyQuote

American - Poet August 19, 1902 - May 19, 1971

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Hope Juice Tongue Dogs

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Love Marriage You Loving

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Hope Home Age Night

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Happiness Itch Scratch Every Having

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Children Parents Think Naive

No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.

You Fun Done Never

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Morning Night Regret Late

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Best People Friends Feel

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Pet Trouble Cat Kitten Eventually

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Children Parents Happy Parenting

Top 10
Ogden Nash
Quotes

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Age People You Someone

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

You Mind Think Late

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Happiness Way Achieve Only

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

You Fun Some About

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Work People Down Sitting More

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life Man Just Floor

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

People Sin Only Who

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Men Professional Whatever Happens

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Dog Door Wrong Side Wrong Side

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Man Woman Sex She

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Life My Life Live Living

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Man Remorse Another

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children Parents Happy Ignore

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying them without money?

Life Funny Money You

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Belong Club One Thing Most

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Candy Liquor Quicker Dandy

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Related Authors

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Edgar Allan Poe

Emily Dickinson

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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