Ryan Stiles Quotes - BrainyQuote

American - Actor Born: April 22, 1959

The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.

Sky Blue Door Beyond

Back off or the lizard gets it!

Back Off Lizard Gets

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.

Funny Doing How Just

Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.

Me Eating Never Banana

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

Never Your Eat Make

I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do.

You People Saying Information

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

Time Home Green Some

When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.

Love Best Damn I May Not

You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.

Myself You Know Shirt

I did standup for a lot of years, too, but when you come out as a standup, you get the feeling from a crowd - it's a kind of a 'make me laugh' attitude. But when you come out as an improvisor, they realize that they're suggesting everything you do. So they're already invested in the scene, and they actually want it to work.

Attitude Work Me You

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

Great Remember Lose Control

I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.

Car You Yellow Drive

I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.

President United States Personalities

If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.

You See Rap Just

If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!

Man Fish Were Would

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

Man Wife Woman Were

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

Me Man Tall Who

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.

Mother Woman Your Like

Never trust sheep.

Trust Never Sheep

The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

You Fool Stop America

What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.

Dark Earth Chess Room

On 'Whose Line,' we had six, seven, eight scenes per show, so everything was pretty quick. And there's a lot of games that we just got tired of, like 'Hats' and 'World's Worst' and 'Hoedown' and stuff.

Tired World Everything Worst

I was into sports in high school, but I got kicked out of Richmond High at 17, so I never graduated. However, I still get invites to the class reunions... I don't know that I want to see how everyone looks now.

Sports School Never High School

I love B.C., but you know what taxes are like in Canada.

Love You Know Like

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

Funny School High School Three

Biography

Nationality: American

Type: Actor

Born: April 22, 1959

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