I was in love with a beautiful blonde once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
W. C. Fields
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
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